


It Has to Mean Something

by kylorensith



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 02:44:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14275200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylorensith/pseuds/kylorensith
Summary: Reader sends herself to the First Order, hoping she is able to make contact with her former best friend, Ben Solo. Things don’t go as planned when Kylo tells Supreme Leader Snoke about the newest prisoner.





	It Has to Mean Something

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my google docs since December and I finally decided to post it.. hope you enjoy

Things had changed so much in your life in the last ten years. Before the attack on the Jedi Temple things had seemed so effortless in your life, you were being trained as one of the top Jedi Knights in your rank, your best friend was by your side, but it all changed in just one night.

_You awoke to the sound of screaming, and fighting outside your quarters, it was too early in the morning for it to be training. Your heart started racing so you grabbed your lightsaber and ran from your room. Once you were finally outside your heart was instantly shattered into pieces, all of your friends lay around your feet and you can see fire making its way near you. You knew you didn’t have time to get all of your friends, all you knew was you had to get to Ben, and make sure that he was okay._

_As you started running to where his quarters were, you realized that the fire had already engulfed the entire building. Tears filled your eyes, but you knew what you had to do, what you were trained to do. Fight._

_To your left you heard grunts, and screams of pain, you ran that way pushing away your grief of your fallen friend, it was your job now to protect the Jedi Temple, or at least what was left of it. Rain started pouring down on you as you ran to help the others. Just as you were able to see who was executing this vicious attack, you stopped in your tracks, there were easily twenty men covered in black head to toe. At their feet, everyone you’d ever come to know while training under Luke Skywalker._

_There were no more screams of pain, no more fighting anywhere around you. Everyone was dead. Including Ben…_

As the screams echoed in your ears you had to push through, this was your time to stop The First Order, and to avenge everyone lost that night. Finding out Ben was behind the entire attack was worse that you thinking he was dead that night, not only did Snoke take everything you’d ever known from you, he took your best friend and made him into his own personal killing machine.

Just days ago you learned of him killing his own father, this was to avenge Solo as well. General Organa was devastated to learn of her son’s actions, but she pushed forward. It was time to put an end to Kylo Ren, and  _hopefully_ if you were somehow lucky enough redeem your best friend and bring him back to where he belongs.

This mission is one you knew that you might regret later, but for right now it was what was most important. Not even General Leia approved of this, her specific words were “Don’t you dare go there, there is no helping him now. Not from anyone. I’m sorry..” Knowing that his own mother didn’t think there was hope left for his redemption was your motivation,  _someone_ needs to believe in him. That someone is you.

You were just about to pull out from lightspeed when your nerves for this mission finally set in.  _Do it for Ben_. You think to yourself.

The second you pulled out of lightspeed you knew there was no way to avoid being imprisoned for being a member of the Resistance, but that was your goal. Once you were captured your hope is that the rumors are true, and Ben-  _Kylo_ , does the interrogations for Resistance members. If he sees who you are, maybe there is a chance that you can get through to him. The chances aren’t very high, but you’re willing to take that chance to bring him home.

Once you landed, a voice came over the PA system in your ship “This ship is being taken over by The First Order. All Resistance members aboard will be taken care of.”

You don’t exactly know what  _taken care of meant_ , but something told you it might be worse than you thought. Watching quietly you look around outside of your ship, you knew there was no chance in escaping, all controls were taken over the second you landed.

The ship, from the outside, looked almost identical to the stations you had just left. Your ship made it through the shield from the outside, and immediately several Stormtroopers were running at you, blasters ready to shoot. Your goal is to cause as little trouble as you could, if you were killed instantly then your mission would have been for nothing. This  _has_ to be worth something.

While you were dragged from your ship, you put up little fight, you were thrown to the ground with a thud and you could already feel pain coursing through your right cheek. Several mumbles of “Resistance scum” from practically everyone you were dragged by.

Your feet weren’t touching the ground, you were being held up by your arms, and you hands tied together behind your back. _It will be worth it, it will be worth it._  You push past the mild pain you’re feeling, and hope that maybe your lack of a fight will intrigue Kylo and possible make him more curious as to who you are.

After about five minutes of being dragged across their ship, you were thrown into a cell at your knees. You looked up and around to, hoping that nobody else would be in the room with you, luckily no one was there. The only other object in the room was an interrogation table. You stayed on your knees, hoping that this will work in your favor. _You always have the Force_  You remind yourself.

Shortly after more stormtroopers walk in and you are locked into the interrogation table. You thought about trying to remove yourself from the restraints, but there is a Stormtrooper watching guard, if you were seen using the Force, especially by a First Order Stormtrooper, you’d be killed slowly and painfully.

What felt like hours later the hatch swung open, you raise your head  _praying_ Kylo will be the one in front of you, but your heart drops instantly when Kylo isn’t the only person in front of you. There is no way you can talk to him, or even try with another high ranking officer with him.

You locked eyes with the cold, black helmet looking back at you, you can feel his eyes focusing on you. He knew who you were the moment he walked in, he could feel your energy, and to see you, it was easy for him to know  _exactly_ who you were.

“General Hux excuse us, I have my own interrogation tactics to use on  _this_ one.” His voice haunted you, it was nothing like his soft spoken, gentle voice, the one you’d known and loved. You could decipher his tone one way or another, but his energy was almost overwhelming. And not in the way you had hoped.

You slowly glanced over at the man next to him,  _General Hux._  He shot a nasty glare in Kylo’s direction but nodded, before leaving the room.

“ _You’re_  supposed to be  _dead_.” He finally spoke, minutes after the General had lef. Your heart shattered, you could feel him, you knew the minute he realized it was you he was angry. More angry than he’d ever been around you. But his words destroyed you.

“Ben I-” You were quickly stopped by a choking feeling around your throat. But almost as quickly as it had started, it ended. “ _Don’t ever_  call me by that name again, _he is dead_.” He was no longer looking at you, his helmet was glancing to the side of you, he couldn’t look at your face knowing what he’d just done to you.

“Please.” You begged, all you wanted was to see his face. You’d always loved how soft his complexion was, and how happy his brown eyes were. He took several steps closer to you and started at you for a moment before reaching up and touching your cheek, you nervously pulled away from his hand. You had no idea if he would inflict physical pain upon you, or even if he would force himself into your head. Everything you’d heard from Poe and Rey, you were instantly nervous what was in store for you.

_“Ben!” You laughed pulling away from his grasp around you. His smile was bright as he tried to pull you back into his arm. “You know, your uncle isn’t going to be very impressed with us if we are late to training again.” You couldn’t help but smile up at him._

_“It was just one time, what’s one more?” He leaned in and left his lips mere inches from yours “Just kiss me.” You leaned in and kissed him softly, wrapping your arms around his neck. One of your favorite feelings was Ben holding you._

_“Ben, you know I love time with you, but we have to get to training. We can be together later.”_

“What are you doing?” He pulled away from you, and and turned away quickly. “Why would you be thinking about that day? You shouldn’t want to think about that day  _at all_.” You hadn’t even realized that he could see what you were thinking, he was always very good at hearing other people’s thoughts.

“I- I’m sorry. I forgot.” tears welled up in your eyes, all you wanted was to make him realize how missed he was, to show him how badly  _you_ missed him. Nobody other than the two of you knew that there was more than a friendship between you, not that either of you called it anything but friendship.

His helmet came off and he turned slowly to look at you. His helmet remained in his hand until his body was facing you. The helmet dropped to the floor with a loud thud, but his eyes still hadn’t met yours. His hair hungover his face, hiding what you wanted to see most.

“Be-Kylo,  _please_ look at me.” You begged again, tears freely falling down your cheeks. After what felt like the longest moment of your life he was finally facing you, but his eyes remained closed, _he couldn’t face you_.

You inhaled sharply looking at the dark scar running across his face. “What-” You were close to asking, but you already knew, even if you didn’t like the answer.  _Rey. She did what was best, she needed to save herself and Finn._

“Is  _this_ really what you wanted to see?” His voice shook as his eyes opened and focused on the bruise forming on your cheek. “I wanted to see the face of my  _best friend_.” You replied, trying to find his eyes.

“I already told you, _he’s gone_!” He shouted, before quickly bending down and grabbing his helmet and leaving the room. “ _Ben_!” You cried as he left you alone.

Two very long days later, the hatch slid open once again. In walked Kylo, helmet off, and chest heaving. Once he stepped in the room he stood to the side, and in walked the most evil person in the whole galaxy… Snoke.

Instantly you looked to Kylo, wishing that this wasn’t happening. You knew nothing good was going to come from Snoke, leader of The First Order, in your cell. A wicked grin was spread across his face, “Very well, maybe you aren’t as worthless as I was thinking, Ren.” You narrowed your eyes at him for speaking so lowly of Kylo, and to his face.

“So what, you’re going to kill me?” You do your best to sound strong, but your voice shakes the moment Snoke steps closer to you. Your eyes fall to Kylo, who is looking away, looking anywhere but at you.

Snoke laughed darkly, “In due time, yes, that is where where you shall find yourself. But for now,” He laughs again “Now, you are going to feel the pain inflicted on every other so-called  _Jedi_ at that temple that night.” Images of everyone you cared about flashes in your mind, all the bodies, the screams, the agony. Then anger, how could Kylo tell Snoke that you are one of the only remaining Jedi left from the temple that night? Did he want to see you die?

_No_. Kylo’s voice rang through your head.

Your gaze turned to Kylo before you spoke again, “What could you possibly do to me, to make me feel  _any_ worse than I felt that night? Thinking my  _best friend_ was  _dead_?” You snapped at Snoke, but remained looking at Kylo.

A agonizing slap burned your cheek, snapping your neck to the side. “Oh my dear, you have so much to learn, number one  _never_ speak back to me,  _ever_.” His face got close to yours, his menacing eyes locked on yours.

You could feel anger coursing through Kylo, but you were having trouble deciphering if his anger was directed at you or something else. “You don’t intimidate me.” You pulled all your confidence into that one sentence, if you’re dying, you’re going out with your head held high.

In an instant the restraints on your arms and legs were removed, and your entire body was thrown to the ground. You were unable to move any part of your body as Snoke took two strides to where your body laid on the ground. There was a deathly tight grip around your throat, and all you could feel was a deep burning feeling filling your lungs.

You kept looking all around the room in search of Kylo, finally your eyes fell to his desperate face, though he remained motionless. Snoke remained ahold of his force grip around your throat and the room was just starting to get blurry as the grip loosened. Your body sat up quickly gasping for air, your hands holding your throat.

Snoke smirked down at you, “Are you intimidated now, you arrogant tyrant?” No words were coming to your head as your body still desperately took in the air it had been missing. “That’s what I thought.” He turned and walked from the room without another word.

You pulled your body into the corner furthest from the hatch, and tears started streaming down your face. Footsteps made their way closer to you, in instant fear you looked up expecting to see Snoke in front of you again, ready to cause you more harm.

_Please_ beg silently to yourself, you weren’t ready for more pain. 


End file.
